Butler to the President - Server at a Banquet

His name was Eduardo.  He told me to call him "Eddie".  He was from the Philippines and he left after Ferdinand Marcos was deposed in February of 1986. 

Eddie was in the personal service of Marcos.  He was what would most likely be considered a butler.  He served Marcos proudly and he served him well.  Eddie was fortunate to get out before the downfall of Marcos.  And Eddie left and found himself in the service of King Khalid of Saudi Arabia.  He served the King until his death.  Eddie has served other persons of great political prominence and wealth, but we did not discuss them much. 

At some point on a visit to family here in the U.S., he found his way to Las Vegas, Nevada.  And then, as Eddie said, "the planes hit the twin towers and all that."  And he found himself stuck in Vegas with no real plan to get back to where he had come.  Quickly running out of money he turned to what he knew.  He could serve.  But, there are not many kings or presidents in Vegas.  There are "whales".  But they come and go and he needed something steady.  So he got a job serving food to business folks like me who come to Vegas for conventions.  And that is how we met.  We met at the final dinner of a convention that I attended this week.

And here is what impressed me.  He served us like I was a president or a king.  I don't really know that for absolute surety.  but I know he served me well and with great care.  But I am nobody really.  I am just a guy in a suit who works for some big corporation.  But he treated me with great dignity and respect.

One of the speakers at one of the luncheon was the CEO of Zappos.com, Tony Hsieh.  Hsieh talked about the culture of Zappos.com.  And he talked about the interview process for those who want to come to work for Zappos.com.  He said that unbeknown to the person interviewing for a job, the driver of the van that transported the prospective employee to the office was a part of the interview process.  And after the formal interview was over, the driver was asked about the prospective employee and how he treated the driver during the ride.  So, no matter if the person was an outstanding applicant, if he had no ability to relate to the "cab driver", then he was not really Zappos.com material. 

So, I am just sorta talking out loud here.  But I wonder.  How do I treat people?  Do I treat them royally?  Do I treat them with dignity and respect even when they are just some tired and worn out conventioner?  Would Zappos.com hire me based upon how I treated the cab driver to and from the airport?

I hope so.  I think so.  I pray so.

He's got a great "work ethic"

All my life I have lived with a strong desire to be seen as someone who is worthy of his wages.  Most guys my age were raised by dads who worked hard and spent their entire careers with the same company.  That is my case.  After dad got out of the Air Force and married mom, and then he spent his entire career with "the phone company."  And I can count on one hand the number of days he missed work in his entire career.  And I would even have a few fingers left over!  Now that man had a strong work ethic.

I don't think I can ever live up to that.

But I have been thinking about a few other "ethics".  What if there was a "husband ethic"?  What if there was a "father ethic"?  How would I stack up against the measure of a good husband or good father?

Well, most of my work as a father is done.  Both of my children are grown and on their own.  I still have some fathering duties to do as you are never really done as a parent, are you?  And my "grandfathering" is just getting started.

I am still a husband.  And I plan to stay a husband as long as Cathy will have me.  We are enjoying the good years that we have looked forward to our whole lives.  And we are looking forward to the days of retirement where we can travel and enjoy more time together.  I just don't think you ever really retire as a husband or father.

But what about the next generation of men that are just starting their husband and father years?  I think if there is one message that I could deliver to them is that they (or we) need to devote the same level of energy and effort into our roles as husbands and fathers that we devote to our role as employee. 

But it isn't all that easy.  Sometimes we see ourselves simply as "money machines".  We see ourselves as income producers and we think that is our primary function as a man.  Sadly, I think many times we miss the boat here.  And if you ask us if that is how we see ourselves, we may not agree or say that we see ourselves that way.  But our actions don't always line up with our intentions.  We don't mean to ignore our primary roles.  We just get caught up in the day to day activities of getting up and going off to work and bringing home a paycheck.  And we are too tired to be a great husband or great father because we have devoted all our energy to the work place.  Great work ethic.  Not so great husband ethic or father ethic.

Hopefully some wives and mothers will chime in here and comment.  I would be willing to bet that most of them are more concerned about how we "work" with them and our children than how we perform at the office and how much money we bring home.  Ladies, am I right here?

I am a very fortunate man.  I have been blessed with a great role model in my dad and my father-in-law.  They successfully balanced all three of these roles.  They even manged to be active leaders in their local churches for most of their lives.  I try every day to live up to those examples.

But I am back to thinking about that next generation.  I have a son and I have a son-in-law.  My kids have friends that are married and starting families.  I have great friends who have married children.  Some have secular jobs.  Some have jobs as pastor in a local church.  My prayer for them is that they will take on their role as husband and father with the same vigor that they approach their job or their ministry. 

As for me.  I will take the Apostle Paul's words slightly out of context.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

Like I said, it may be slightly out of context.  But you get the point that I am still working at it.

And after all, I am just talking out loud.